1985-1987

Inbetween Days

Yesterday I got so old
I felt like I could die
Yesterday I got so old
It made me want to cry
Go on go on
Just walk away
Go on go on
Your choice is made
Go on go on
And disappear
Go on go on
Away from here

And I know I was wrong
When I said it was true
That it couldn’t be me and be her
Inbetween without you
Without you

Yesterday I got so scared
I shivered like a child
Yesterday away from you
It froze me deep inside
Come back come back
Don’t walk away
Come back come back
Come back today
Come back come back
Why can’t you see?
Come back come back
Come back to me

And I know I was wrong
When I said it was true
That it couldn’t be me and be her
Inbetween without you
Without you

Kyoto Song

A nightmare of you
Of death in the pool
Wakes me up at quarter to three
I’m lying on the floor of the night before
With a stranger lying next to me
A nightmare of you
Of death in the pool
I see no further now than this dream
The trembling hands of the trembling man
Hold my mouth
To hold in a scream

I try to think
To make it slow
If only here is where I go
If this is real
I have to see
I turn on fire
And next to me…
It looks good!
It tastes like nothing on earth
It looks good!
It tastes like nothing on earth
Its so smooth it even feels like skin
It tells me how it feels to be new

It tells me how it feels to be new
A thousand voices whisper it true
It tells me how it feels to be new
And every voice belongs
Every voice belongs to you

The Blood

Tell me who doesn’t love
What can never come back
You can never forget how it used to feel
The illusion is deep
It’s as deep as the night
I can tell by your tears you remember it all

I am paralyzed by the Blood of Christ
Though it clouds my eyes
I can never stop

How it feels to be dry
Walking bare in the sun
Every mirage I see is a mirage of you
As I cool in the twilight
Taste the salt on my skin
I recall all the tears
All the broken words

I am paralyzed by the Blood of Christ
Though it clouds my eyes
I can never stop

When the sunset’s glow drifts away from you
You’ll no longer know
If any of this was really true at all…

Six Different Ways

This is stranger than I thought
Six different ways inside my heart
And every one I’ll keep tonight
Six different ways go deep inside

I’ll tell them anything at all
I know I’ll give them more and more

I’ll tell them anything at all
I know I’ll give the world and more
They think I’m on my hands and head
This time they’re much too slow

Six sides to every lie I say
It’s that American voice again
« It was never quite like this before
Not one of you is the same… « 

This is stranger than I thought
Six different ways inside my heart
And everyone I’ll keep tonight
Six different ways go deep inside

Push

Go go go!
Push him away
No no no!
Don’t let him stay…

He gets inside to stare at her
The seeping mouth
The mouth that knows
The secret you
Always you
A smile to hide the fear away
Oh! smear this man across the walls
Like strawberries and cream
It’s the only way to be

Exactly the same clean room
Exactly the same clean bed
But I’ve stayed away too long this time
And I’ve got too big to fit this time…

The Baby Screams

Heaven
Give me a sign
Waiting for the sun to shine
Pleasure fills up my dreams
And I love it
Like a baby screams

It’s so useless
How can you be proud
When you’re sinking into the ground
Into the ground fills up my dreams
And I love it
Like a baby screams

Couldn’t ask for more you said
Take it all
And strike me
Strike me dead

Waiting again
Waiting
Like I waited before
Waiting again
Waiting here for nothing at all
Heaven fills up my dreams
And I love it
Like a baby screams

Couldn’t ask for more you said
Couldn’t ever let it end
Take it all
Take it all
And strike me dead

Heaven!
Heaven!

Close to Me

I’ve waited hours for this
I’ve made myself so sick
I wish I’d stayed asleep today
I never thought this day would end
I never thought tonight could ever be
This close to me

Just try to see in the dark
Just try to make it work
To feel the fear before you’re here
I make the shapes come much too close
I pull my eyes out
Hold my breath
And wait until I shake…

But if I had your faith
Then I could make it safe and clean
If only I was sure
That my head on the door was a dream

I’ve waited hours for this
I’ve made myself so sick
I wish I’d stayed asleep today
I never thought this day would end
I never thought tonight could ever be
This close to me

But if I had your face
I could make it safe and clean
If only I was sure
That my head on the door
Was a dream

A Night Like This

Say goodbye on a night like this
If it’s the last thing we ever do
You never looked as lost as this
Sometimes it doesn’t even look like you
It goes dark
It goes darker still
Please stay
But I watch you like I’m made of stone
As you walk away…

I’m coming to find you if it takes me all night
A witch hunt for another girl
For always and ever is always for you
Your trust
The most gorgeously stupid thing I ever cut in the world

Say hello on a day like today
Say it every time you move
The way that you look at me now
Makes me wish I was you
It goes deep
It goes deeper still
This touch
And the smile and the shake of your head…

I’m coming to find you if it takes me all night
Can’t stand here like this anymore
For always and ever is always for you
I want it to be perfect
Like before…
I want to change it all

I want to change

Screw

When you screw up your eyes
When you screw up your face
When you throw out your arms
And keep changing your shape
Taste the taste in your mouth
Taste the taste on your tongue
On the film on your eyes of what I’ve become

What do I do when you screw up your eyes?
What do I do when you screw up your face?
What do I do
When you throw out your arms
Fall on the floor
And keep changing your shape?
Jump right into your mouth?
Jump around on your tongue?

And the film on your eyes of the way I’ve become
Makes me sick at the way that I try
Anything in the world
To impress that I’m doing this
Only for you

Sinking

I am slowing down
As the years go by
I am sinking

So I trick myself
Like everybody else

The secrets I hide
Twist me inside
They make me weaker

So I trick myself
Like everybody else

I crouch in fear and wait
I’ll never feel again…
If only I could remember
Anything at all

The Exploding Boy

I couldn’t hear a word you said
I couldn’t hear at all
You talked until your tongue fell out
And then you talked some more
I knew if I turned
I’d turn away from you
And I couldn’t look back

Tell yourself we’ll start again
Tell yourself it’s not the end
Tell yourself it couldn’t happen
Not this way
Not today

A Few Hours After This…

The look before I go
Is the look for you
You only have to look and it will all come true
And we can fall outside
Into the fizzy night
Or pull me down in here
You know it’s all the same
I only want to see if you are happy again
Or we can roll around
And find out upside down

A few hours after this and we’re apart again
Like two white checks
Like opposite poles
In a secret game
(Like nothing like these I suppose… )
I really should have known by the cut of your smile
That the answer would be simple
It still took you a while to get it out of me
I thought you’d do it easily

Just put your hands around my heart
And squeeze me until I’m dry
I never thought you’d ever start to ever ask me why…

I never saw you again

A Man Inside My Mouth

I woke up at seven and my body was vibrating
I was wrapped up in a blanket
I was grey
Damp and sore
The bedroom was an engine and my heartbeat was erratic
(Like I think I’m at the racing
Like the night before)
I remember one girl standing
One was sitting on the ground
One was holding me up
The other pulling me down
And I couldn’t decide which one was real
Because there wasn’t a sound
(Like I was pregnant again… )

« Don’t move don’t blink don’t think don’t even breathe » she said
« Or the photograph will spoil
And cut you off at the head »
So I was sucking
I was sucking like a fat lady would
But I couldn’t hold it down another second
(Bleagh!)
« Don’t twitch don’t shout don’t think don’t even breathe » she said
« Or the photograph will spoil and cut you off at the head »
So I was sweating
I was sweating like a fat lady would…
And I woke up
With a man inside my mouth
(This won’t hurt at all… )

Stop Dead

Let me forget
Let me forget
Or let me go
Let me go
I’ll keep it quiet as a whisper
I’ll keep it low low low…
Never!
The biggest word I ever heard
Stop dead
Stop dead
You’re getting too close…

Before you even opened your eyes
I moved about a million ways
I killed about a million people
And filled about half a day
Before you even opened your eyes
You had to have to ask me who
I love it…
I mean you…

My face was in your hands
You looked into my eyes
You said I tasted right
And swallowed me alive

The Kiss

Kiss me kiss me kiss me!
Your tongue is like poison
So swollen it fills up my mouth

Love me love me love me!
You nail me to the floor
And push my guts all inside out

Get it out get it out get it out!
Get your fucking voice
Out of my head!

I never wanted this
I never wanted any of this
I wish you were dead
I wish you were dead

I never wanted any of this
I wish you were dead
Dead
Dead
Dead

Catch

Yeah I know who you remind me of
A girl I think I used to know
Yeah I’d see her when the days got colder
On those days when it felt like snow

You know I even think that she stared like you
She used to just stand there and stare
And roll her eyes right up to heaven
And make like I just wasn’t there

And she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

And sometimes we would spend the night
Just rolling about on the floor
And I remember even though it felt soft at the time
I always used to wake up sore…

You know I even think that she smiled like you
She used to just stand there and smile
And her eyes would go all sort of far away
And stay like that for quite a while

And I remember she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

Yeah I sometimes even tried to catch her
But never even caught her name

Torture

I’m in the room without a light
The room without a view
I’m here for one more treacherous night
Another night with you
It tortures me to move my hands
To try to move at all
And pulled
My skin so tight it screams
And screams and screams
And pulls some more

Hanging like this
Like a vampire bat
Hanging like this
Hanging on your back
I’m helpless again

My body is cut and broken
It’s shattered and sore
My body is cut wide open
I can’t stand anymore
It tortures me to move my hands
To try to move at all
And pulled
My skin so tight it screams
And screams and screams
And screams for more

Hanging like this
Like a vampire bat
Hanging like this
Hanging on your back
Oh it’s torture
And I’m almost there
It’s torture
But I’m almost there

It’s torture
But I’m almost there
It’s torture
But I’m almost there…

If Only Tonight We Could Sleep

If only tonight we could sleep
In a bed made of flowers
If only tonight we could fall
In a deathless spell
If only tonight we could slide
Into deep black water
And breathe
And breathe…

Then an angel would come
With burning eyes like stars
And bury us deep
In his velvet arms

And the rain would cry
As our faces slipped away
And the rain would cry

Don’t let it end…

Why Can’t I Be You?

You’re so gorgeous I’ll do anything!
I’ll kiss you from your feet
To where your head begins!
You’re so perfect!
You’re so right as rain!
You make me
Make me hungry again

Everything you do is irresistible
Everything you do is simply kissable
Why can’t I be you?

I’ll run around in circles
‘Til I run out of breath
I’ll eat you all up
Or I’ll just hug you to death
You’re so wonderful!
Too good to be true!
You make me
Make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply delicate
Everything you do is quite angelicate
Why can’t I be you?

You turn my head when you turn around
You turn the whole world upside down
I’m smitten I’m bitten I’m hooked I’m cooked
I’m stuck like glue!
You make me
Make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply dreamy
Everything you do is quite delicious
Why can’t I be you?
Why can’t I be you?
Why can’t I be you?

You’re simply elegant!

The Snakepit

Well we’re a mile under the ground
And I’m thinking that it’s Christmas
And I’m kissing you hard
Like I’ve got very important business
And no one knows
And no one sees us
Because they’re drinking their selves senseless
And I’m writhing
And I’m writhing
And I’m writhing in the snakepit

Well I’m out in a car
And it’s just full of stupid girls
And I’ve forgotten how to speak
And I just can’t remember a word
And my eyes feel like they’re bursting
And they’re splitting like plums
And I’m writhing
And I’m writhing
And I’m writhing in the snake pit

How Beautiful You Are…

You want to know why I hate you?
Well I’ll try and explain…

You remember that day in Paris
When we wandered through the rain
And promised to each other
That we’d always think the same
And dreamed that dream
To be two souls as one

And stopped just as the sun set
And waited for the night
Outside a glittering building
Of glittering glass and burning light…

And in the road before us
Stood a weary greyish man
Who held a child upon his back
A small boy by the hand
The three of them were dressed in rags
And thinner than air
And all six eyes stared fixedly on you

The father’s eyes said « Beautiful!
How beautiful you are! »
The boy’s eyes said
« How beautiful!
She shimmers like a star! »
The child’s eyes uttered nothing
But a mute and utter joy
And filled my heart with shame for us
At the way we are

I turned to look at you
To read my thought upon your face
And gazed so deep into your eyes
So beautiful and strange
Until you spoke
And showed me understanding is a dream
« I hate these people staring
Make them go away from me! »

The father’s eyes said « Beautiful!
How beautiful you are! »
The boy’s eyes said
« How beautiful! She glitters like a star! »
The child’s eyes uttered nothing
But quiet and utter joy
And stilled my heart with sadness
For the way we are…

And this is why I hate you
And how I understand
That no-one ever knows or loves another
Or loves another

Hey You!!!

Hey you!
Yes you…
Yes you the one that looks like Christmas…
Come over here and kiss me
Kiss me!!!

Hey you!
Yes you…
Yes you the one that looks delirious…
Come over here and kiss me
Kiss me!!!

Just Like Heaven

« Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream » she said
« The one that makes me laugh » she said
And threw her arms around my neck
« Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I’ll run away with you
I’ll run away with you »

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
« Why are you so far away? » she said
« Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you?
That I’m in love with you? »

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You’re just like a dream…

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

All I Want

Tonight I’m feeling like an animal
Tonight I’m howling inside
Tonight I’m feeling like an animal
Tonight I’m going wild

And all I want is to be with you again
And all I want is to hold you like a dog
And all I want is to be with you again
With you again
Just to hold you like a dog

Tonight I’m screaming like an animal
Tonight I’m losing control
Tonight I’m screaming like an animal
Tonight I’m getting so low

And all I want is to be with you again
And all I want is to hold you like a dog
And all I want is to be with you again
With you again
Just to hold you like a dog
That’s all I want

Hot Hot Hot!!!

The first time I saw lightning strike
I saw it underground
Six deep feet below the street
The sky came crashing down
For a second that place was lost in space
Then everything went black
I left that basement burning
And I never went back

The second time I saw it strike
I saw it at sea
It lit up all the fish like rain
And rained them down on me
For a second that boat was still afloat
Then everything went black
I left it underwater
And I never went back

Hey hey hey!!!
But I like it when that lightning comes
Hey hey hey!!!
Yes I like it a lot
Hey hey hey!!!
Yes I’m jumping like a jumping jack
Dancing screaming itching squealing fevered
Feeling hot hot hot!!!

The third time I saw lightning strike
It hit me in bed
It threw me around
And left me for dead
For a second that room was on the moon
Then everything went black
I left that house on fire
And I never went back

Hey hey hey!!!
But I like it when that lightning comes
Hey hey hey!!!
Yes I like it a lot
Hey hey hey!!!
Yes I’m jumping like a jumping jack
Dancing screaming itching squealing fevered
Feeling hot hot hot!!!

One More Time

I’d love to touch the sky tonight
I’d love to touch the sky
So take me in your arms
And lift me like a child
And hold me up so high
And never let me go
Take me
Take me in your arms tonight

Hold me
Hold me up so high
And never let me down
Hold me
Hold me up so high
To touch the sky
Just one more time

Take me in your arms tonight
Take me in your arms
Just one more time
Just one more time
Just one more time

Like Cockatoos

She walked out of her house
And looked around
At all the gardens that looked
Back at her house
(Like all the faces
That quiz when you smile… )

And he was standing
At the corner
Where the road turned dark
A part of shiny wet
Like blood the rain fell
Black down on the street

And kissed his feet she fell
Her head an inch away from heaven
And her face pressed tight
And all around the night sang out
Like cockatoos

« There are a thousand things » he said
« I’ll never say those things to you again »
And turning on his heel
He left a trace of bubbles
Bleeding in his stead

And in her head
A picture of a boy who left her
Lonely in the rain
(And all around the night sang out
Like cockatoos)

Icing Sugar

You’re delicious
Dreaming
Slack jawed
Green eyed
Rub my nose in
Icing sugar
Smooth as
When this cold and deadly
Blade
Kisses the fruit
So soft
And gently breathing
Under your skin

Oh I’ll empty you
I’ll empty you
As empty as a boy can be
As empty
As a boy can be

The Perfect Girl

You’re such a strange girl
I think you come from another world
You’re such a strange girl
I really don’t understand a word
You’re such a strange girl
I’d like to shake you around and around
You’re such a strange girl
I’d like
To turn you
All upside down

You’re such a strange girl
The way you look like you do
You’re such a strange girl
I want to be with you

I think I’m falling
I think I’m falling in
I think I’m falling in love with you
With you

A Thousand Hours

For how much longer can I howl into this wind?
For how much longer
Can I cry like this?

A thousand wasted hours a day
Just to feel my heart for a second
A thousand hours just thrown away
Just to feel my heart for a second

For how much longer can I howl into this wind?

Shiver And Shake

You’re just a waste of time
You’re just a babbling face
You’re just three sick holes that run like sores
You’re a fucking waste
You’re like a slug on the floor
Oh! you’re useless and ugly
And useless and ugly
And I shiver and shake
When I think of how you make me hate

I want to smash you to pieces
I want to smash you up and screaming
I want to smash you helpless
Down on the floor
Smash you until you’re not here anymore

And I shiver and shake
Shiver and shake

Fight

Sometimes there’s nothing to feel
Sometimes there’s nothing to hold
Sometimes there’s no time to run away
Sometimes you just feel so old
The times it hurts when you cry
The times it hurts just to breathe
And then it seems like there’s no one left
And all you want is to sleep

Fight fight fight
Just push it away
Fight fight fight
Just push it until it breaks
Fight fight fight
Don’t cry at the pain
Fight fight fight
Or watch yourself burn again
Fight fight fight
Don’t howl like a dog
Fight fight
Just fill up the sky
Fight fight fight
Fight ‘til you drop
Fight fight fight
And never never
Never stop

Fight fight fight
Fight fight fight

So when the hurting starts
And when the nightmares begin
Remember
You can fill up the sky
You don’t have to give in
You don’t have to give in

Never give in
Never give in
Never give in

A Japanese Dream

I’m going back to the land of the blind
Back to the land where the sun never shines
I’m going back there and I’m hoping to find
Everything just as it was before
I left it all behind

I slept at nights there hysterically
Twisted and turned
But I just couldn’t get free
Opened my eyes
But I still couldn’t see
But I could feel her…
China white girl

So I get down on the floor
Like I am worshipping God
Burning like a monkey
I get down on the floor
Like I am praying to the Lord
Burning like a monkey

Mmmmmm…
That was a Japanese dream alright
The sound of the storm
And the flickering light
And the way that her scent used to fill up the night like…
Like her scent used to fill up the night

So I get down on the floor
Like I am worshipping God
Burning like a monkey
I get down on the floor
Like I am praying to the Lord
Burning like a monkey

Just look at me now
Just look at me this way
It looks like I am quite insane
It looks like I am trying to eat off my face
It looks like I’m going to the land of the blind anyway…

Back where the sun never shines
Back to the land of the blind
Back in a Japanese dream

Breathe

Breathe
Breathe on me
Be like you used to be
Breathe on me

Move in me
Be like you used to be
Move in me
Move in me

Be with me
Be like you used to be
With me
With me

A Chain Of Flowers

Please wake up
It’s so dark and cold
Please wake up
I feel so alone
And I feel so scared
That you’re going away
And I feel so scared…

All I want is summer
Stories from before
Just like the day you tried to hide
Behind the churchyard wall
And fell asleep before I came…

I found you
In a chain of flowers
Sleeping like a marble girl
Sleeping in another world…

I’ll never tell you
Of all the different ways
You make me so afraid…

Snow In Summer

High up on this mountain
The whole world looks so small
And all the rivers
Run away
Slipping in your deep green heart
I drink you as I swim
And I’m sliding
And I’m sliding with you
Slide beneath my skin

Sleek and deep
And salty sweet
You open up in me
Just like the snow in summer

High up on this mountain
The whole world looks so small
And all the rivers
Run away
Slipping in your soft white heart
I drink you as I swim
And I’m falling
And I’m falling with you
Fall beneath my skin

Sleek and deep
And salty sweet
You come
And close in me
Just like the snow in summer

Just like the snow in summer
As it melts
Into the sea

Sugar Girl

Oh I wish I could find it funny
You laughing like that
But instead I change into a rage
And run around
Without a face…
I wish I could find it funny
When you never came back
But I don’t suppose I’ll ever know
The how to keep you
Goodbye sugar girl

Goodbye sugar girl

To The Sky

One perfect morning I was all alone
Listening to the blaze of summer
Drifting
I was falling
I was floating in a golden haze
Breathing in the sky blue sounds
Of memories of other days

And in my dreams I was a child
Flowers in my mouth and in my eyes
And I was floating through the colours of a sky
Up to the stars and angels

Up up up to heaven
Up up up forever
Up up up to heaven
Up up up forever

Turning in my climb
I looked down on a lake
And traced upon the water there
I saw your face
And sang in recollection
Of the times we shared…
Then pushed on ever upward
To the sky

And in my dreams I was a child
Flowers in my mouth and in my eyes
And I was floating through the colours of a sky
Up to the stars and angels

Up up up to heaven
Up up up forever
Up up up to heaven
Up up up forever